Imagine if you were a pilgrim, living in the UK. You have no sense of irony. You don't drink or smoke or shag. You walk around in a funny hat talking very seriously about Jesus and Asceticism.
Of course the Brits are going to make fun of you! Earnestness? How very un-English! Be banish-ed forever you bad time Charlies! You lot--to the Mayflower! We're going to the pub without you!!!
I will be spending Thanksgiving here, in London. I will be missing my 10-year high school reunion. If anyone from Highland Park High School is reading this, please impart to my classmates that I am very thin and happy and successful beyond my wildest dreams. And also that I am skinny. And rich. And slim. And content in my relationship. And that I am slender.
Please also say that I never think about high school.
And that I'm really very svelt.